You work out of a Hotel?
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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