Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I'm having to shit out rocks
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