HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
