sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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