just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
