just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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