the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
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I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
We don't watch enough power rangers
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
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He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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