So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
