how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
