The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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