Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
