So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
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Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
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i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
tell me about the fingering
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