i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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