oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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