so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
