i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
