My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
