just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
