I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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