Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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