just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
