We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Randomize
