You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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