Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
