Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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