Someone shit on the floor
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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