Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
