I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
