glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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