hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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