when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
