perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
