Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
