I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
