dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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