dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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