we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize