It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
