I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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