He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Randomize
