I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
someone owes me an orgasm
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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