If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
