I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
