What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
