she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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