I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
