omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize