i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
