Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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