what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
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