sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
