oh god the rape fog is back!
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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