i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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