Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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