You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
