Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
