Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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