I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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