Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
